Uncomfortably numb?

What a weird day. It can be traced back to this dream I had last night. I ran away to Boston (maybe this was spurred by my hour long convo with Lauren in which she strongly urged me to move up there and live with her and some of my other faves) and had this nagging feeling for a while. It turned to immense guilt and I realized I forgot to call my mom and check in with her and tell her how I was doing in Boston. I became terribly homesick very quickly. As I started to call her, and I may have even spoken to her, I realized she was gone and I couldn't call her. Then I woke up. This seems to happen everytime I don't have an opening shift at work. I have a bad dream and end up spending half the morning in bed because it's left me so dazed and... urgh forgive me... confused. Half my day is wasted and I end up rushing off to work, only to come home well after nine PM.

I actually forgot about the dream until I started attempting to gather my thoughts about ohhh... two minutes ago. Strange what comes to your fingers when you start typing. A few weeks ago I got drunk and sent a very forward text (which my phone deleted, so I can't even go back and read exactly what I wrote) to somebody I went to school with. The always lovely facebook notified me today that he's in a relationship, which means he probably was seeing this person when my text went out not that long ago. That makes me feel... weird. Maybe a little dirty. Not good dirty, but dirty dirty, like I need to clean myself of this and move onto something new dirty. If that even makes sense. It's nearly two AM, of course it doesn't make sense. The good news is that I wasn't really all that bummed. In the past when former crushes of mine have found girlfriends that are not me I'm overly emotional about this. I don't feel any upset. Either I'm so numb inside with my own grief over way bigger things or the crush wasn't even a crush, just more something to occupy my thoughts when I was bored. Like scrabulous.

Today my Aunt Ricki called me to inform me that she, Nana, and Austin were at the Rockaway Mall (why wasn't Austin in school?) and picked up a cute guy at the Apple store for me. I find it slightly scary, but moreso very hilarious. We'll see if anything actually pans out from this, but apparently he's quite cute and "just my type". Happy birthday to me? We'll see. In the meantime, all I can focus on is my trip to Boston and how much fun I'm going to have seeing my favorite people. My only fear is that I'm going to have such a great time that I won't want to leave. That coupled with the fact that there are about five different positions open at Lacoste in the Boston area makes me very nervous. I should really start heading to bed if I want to actually function tomorrow morning. Opening again. I want it to either be very busy so the time flies, or so slow that Jason sends me home ridiculously early. Either way, I don't even know what I'm wearing to work tomorrow which means I need to wake up at least five to ten minutes earlier than usual.

Goodnight moon.