A pretty funny opening for what will probably become a dark and twisted blog, only a shell of it's lighthearted and chatty predecessor- so why are you still reading? Wow, I really know how to advertise my own writing, don't I? I haven't blogged in a very long time. Too long really, I've been quite ashamed of myself. Bad Maggie. So ashamed that I can't even sleep at night. Or maybe that's the fighting cats howling near my bed. But for the sake of the already suffering blog I'll tell you it's my nightmares about not blogging anymore keeping me awake.

I'm sure you (the theoretical, is there anybody out there, reader) have a lot of questions for me in the wake of my long blogging absence. The first answer is a red Lacoste hooded cardigan, James Perse tank top, and brown cords. The second answer is working, sleeping, couch potato-ing. Any questions I haven't already and don't get a chance to address may be left in the comments section.

So today I worked open to close. It's actually not as terrible as it sounds, since Sunday is hardly your traditional 10 Am- 9 pM mall hours. I got there at 10:45 AM and clocked out at just before 6:30 PM. Still, I'm exhausted. Sundays are always tricky days, lots of non-English speaking out-of-towners, families, messes, all jam-packed into a shorter day. Usually I spend a good chunk of Sundays running around and cleaning up after the previous customer while my co-workers get to the next customer. I'm usually too tired from the week on Sundays to be on top of my selling game. Plus I'm cranky on Sundays. It's some sort of embedded thing within me that naturally believes working on a Sunday is detestable. Still, there's plenty to be proud of. We not only made our day (we were 144% to plan!), but we surpassed the $7000 stretch (the goal we make for the day in addition to plan- for example, we're $4000 short on the month right now, so I upped our goal by $2000 today, and plan on upping our daily goals throughout the week by $500-$1000 to make it up). My boss laughed at my ridiculous stretch when he called today, so tomorrow morning I will triumphantly gloat.

Working in retail I've come across so many low-lifes and detestable people that it really jades you against all of humanity. This morning a family came in and the two sons tried on jackets. Both propped the jackets on the end of the hanger rack RIGHT NEXT TO THE EMPTY HANGERS. They also looked at belts, which were carefully rolled up in a belt display, and left them unraveled in SUCH a mess. Not only one or two, but EVERY belt. EVEN THOUGH THERE WERE DUPLICATES OF THE SAME STYLE. I hope you realize that the uppercase letters means SHOUTING. I hate people like that. Then again, I had an encounter with another customer that made me want to cry (in the nice way, not the just been verbally assaulted way) after she left.

I was taking her name and address, and she told me she lives in Millburn, actually on the street directly around the corner from my house. I mentioned that I lived in Millburn, and was actually sort of still there, moving out of my house. She asked if my parents were moving, and I didn't want to lie. I didn't know exactly how to answer, so I said "my brother and I are selling my mom's house." I think that pretty much sums up what happened, and she definitely knew who we were immediately (she knows our neighbors) and gave me her sympathies and asked if I needed any help with the house. It was so touching. I'm definitely going to have to write her a really great thank you note outside of my usual "thanks for choosing to shop at our Short Hills boutique..." that I can quote in my sleep (and probably do). It just amazes me how kind people can be. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough for the world around me. Then again, I work, I come home, eat, watch tv, and sleep. I'm definitely a waste of life. I'm sorry. Who am I apologizing to? My theoretical blog readers, my friends and family whom I let call me, and myself for wasting so many hours of my life.

Tomorrow after work I'm going skiing at Hunter. I've decided to take my crazy Nana up on her offer of a place to stay (she's right on the mountain) while I fulfill my ski lust. She'll be attempting to set me up with a republican Texan who likes to hunt, and whose father is shuddering unknowingly at the moment because his son is about to be set up with a Jewish liberal from New Jersey. Let the sparks fly!

blogging and playing with my new toy (the blackberry) at the same time, very meta