Jon Stewart's Kick Ass Interview with John Bolton

I thought this was an incredible interview by Jon Stewart. It's no secret that I love him. Do you ever play that game of who would you invite to a dinner party? Well Jon Stewart is always number one on my list. I also am ashamed to say I'm too caught up in collegiate life (from studying to partying) to follow the news as closely as I should. I get a good chunk of my news from The Daily Show, and it's interviews like this that keep me somewhat well informed. Thanks Jon!

Movie Night and etc.

There is absolutely nothing fun to do in my town. Nothing. Lucky for me my friend Jordana's spring break trip was cancelled (not very lucky for her), so we've decided to have a few movie nights. We arrived at the video store to find that it had been majorly downgraded from the much larger space it used to occupy next door. Everything is DVD's, and all of them recent. No old classics here. Their competition with netflix, DVR, and digital cable has drastically lowered their prices, though. We got three new releases for $9.99. Not too bad.

Jordana and I picked "The Last Kiss" (because of my Zach Braff obsession), "For Your Consideration" (to get some laughs in), and "The Science of Sleep" which I know nothing about other than I saw a critic say something good about it a while ago, and it has the very yummy Gael Garcia Bernal.

As we were checking out the movies, the sales girl looks long and hard at us and says "You went to Millburn, didn't you? I know you." She did look familiar to me, but I still was completely caught off guard. She started asking us who we still talked to from high school, what we were doing after graduation (sore/scary subject) etc. It was an awkward blast from the past that felt as uncomfortable as something you'd see on The Office. Jordana kind of knew her, through the girl's younger sister, but I had NO idea how this girl (who is actually two years older than me) remembered me. I feel kind of guilty. I spent so many years in high school perfecting my invisibility, so for somebody to remember me shouldn't I remember them too? When Jordana and I signed onto our respective facebooks later that night, we both had friend requests. Note to self: pay in cash next time.

First off, my apologies for my lack of excellent review skills. I'm having a hard time critiquing without giving away too much. Let me know how I do (be honest).


The first movie we watched was "The Last Kiss" which I was really looking forward to due to the involvement of a stellar cast and my unknowing future husband, Zach Braff. I already own the soundtrack (awesome, btw), and had somewhat high hopes despite the random people who said they found the ending upsetting. I figured the ending would be gritty and realistic, and maybe Zach's character ended up with the wrong girl that they were rooting for. Without giving too much away, at the ending Jordana and I looked at each other and shared a "huh." Jordana then said she would have much rather seen the movie as a buddy comedy, focusing on the three friends of Michael (Braff's character). Jordana and I both found ourselves yelling at the characters throughout the film. From the first few minutes when Rachel Bilson is introduced, and throws herself at Michael (with the knowledge that he has a girlfriend). I found Bilson's character unlikable (which is hard to believe, since I really like her), and over the top. She consistently throws herself at Michael, and it got to the point where I was thinking enough already. Then she throws out the cheesiest line "make love to me in my dorm room" which would NEVER be uttered by a twenty-year old college student. Besides the fact that I hate the term "make love" (it just sounds ridiculous, in my opinion), I've NEVER heard anybody in college use that term (in a serious context).

Another problem is the fact that these characters really need therapy. I mean, like glaringly so. Rather than work out his newly developing problems with his wife, one of the characters chooses to just leave her and their baby. It just didn't feel realistic in any way shape or form. I mean, plenty of people leave their spouses/children all the time, but for these characters and their situations it just didn't make sense. The screenwriter of this film is Paul Haggis of "Crash" fame, a movie I hated. I thought it had great acting, but some of the most attrocious writing for such a critically aclaimed movie. It could have, should have been an afterschool special. So it really shouldn't be a surprise to me that another film he wrote missed the mark completely. I think the plot had tremendous potential, but Haggis just does not know how to tell a believable story. On the plus side, the music was great even if it was completely misplaced, and I will say one of my favorite parts of the movie where the music finally gelled with the story (rather than seemed placed in just because the songs were good) was towards the end, with Coldplay's "Warning Sign." When Zach and I finally do get together, I might have to hide this post from him, so as not to hurt his feelings. Or maybe he agrees with me, but is too classy a guy to diss his own movie in public.


Next up on our movie night schedule was "For Your Consideration" from the amazing team that made such classics as "Best in Show" and "Waiting for Guffman". First of all, I was shocked and horrified to discover Jordana had never seen any of Christopher Guest's films, and even worse had never even seen "This is Spinal Tap" (one of the greatest comedies I've seen). I later discovered that far too many of my friends had never even heard of the "Rockumentary" let alone seen it. I fear that my introducing it to them will result in the same horror that was my friends getting bored during "Young Frankenstein" (whaaaa?!?!) But I digress. What I want to know about FYC is how realistic this film is to how Hollywood is really run. Points this movie touches upon? Jews running Hollywood, execs trying to cleanse the film (originally called "Home for Purim") of it's Jewish story, the use of Botox, on-set romances, career turnarounds, obnoxious talk shows, acting for the "craft" not the awards, and soo many more. If you watch TNT at all, you've seen the overplayed commercials on "what is drama" and they discuss comedies as drama, and making people cry by making them laugh, and making them laugh after making them cry. Or something like that. I hope my point isn't too garbled. What I'm trying to say, is that even this amazing comedy managed to break my heart, thanks to the amazing Harry Shearer simply staring at a clock. It's one of the more poignant parts of the film, that brings even more life to the characters. Catherine O'Hara also manages to make me laugh to tears with her sudden change of face. If you've seen it you'll understand, if you haven't seen it then what are you doing still sitting here? Go rent it!

I wonder if I was a better Jew who really knew what the heck Purim was and who actually celebrated it, if I would have appreciated this movie even more. Either way, this is a great film and I recommend it to everybody.

As for our last film, that was pushed back a few days due to exhaustion, so I'll post that review later. Go ahead, talk amongst yourselves...

The Good, The Bad, and the Ghoulish (news)

I'm going to live in a castle this summer. I'm going to live in a castle this summer. I'M GOING TO LIVE IN FRANCE FOR A MONTH!!!! When I got accepted today I nearly started crying tears of joy in front of the head of the program. I will be spending a month in the South of France taking intensive art classes. The program takes place at basically an artist's colony called La Napoule on the Riviera. For those of you lucky enough to be familiar with France, it's very close to Cannes. I'll also be spending eight days in Paris. To say I cannot wait is the understatement of the century. The only catch is that in order to afford this trip I need to become a part time student in the fall. I don't mind that so much, except for the fact that one of the bylaws of my sorority is that you cannot remain an active member while a part time student. This means that I am now on the hunt for a place to live during my final semester. I will be one of those obnoxious people bringing it up to everyone everywhere I go in hopes that I stumble upon something.

The bad news is that the reason I was able to meet with the head of this trip was due to being snowed in. My dad called my at 8am on Friday morning and told me that there was no way I would be driving home to NJ that day. It would just be me and the house ghost, Tracey. Tracey's actually a pretty friendly ghost, we believe that she came back here because this is where she had her best times, but that doesn't make it any less creepy when she's playing around with the sinks and such when you're in a house designed for 40+ people alone. I lucked out a little, I wasn't 100% alone. Besides the fact that the house director was downstairs should anything TOO creepy happen, another girl ended up staying in last night too. Her boyfriend came over and we made smoothies out of all the fruit that would've gone bad if left over break. We creeped each other out by telling Tracey stories and other ghost stories we'd heard or experienced, and also discussed possible ways that murderers could get in. Not creepy at all.

I kept myself up until about 3:30am. I pretty much waited until I passed out from exhaustion so I didn't have to lay in bed hearing every random noise, especially the wind that seems to wail outside my windows and wall. And people always thought corner rooms were the place to be. How am I going to live alone one day?! I might have to inform my parents that I will be living with one of them after college until I one day get married. Why wouldn't that idea excite them?!

Now I'm off to the Jerz, FINALLY, fingers crossed that the roads are cleared and my chicken wraps that I've been saving for this trip are still fresh and tasty. What a promising spring break this could be...

I know I'll laugh about this once I'm all healed up

My TA just told me that I need a helmet. Except the year (or two) of only head injuries seems to have ended. Now my issues are from the neck down.

If you've been keeping up with my posts you'll remember when I recently fell down the stairs. And then this past weekend I fell asleep fully clothed, the one time I ever wear a belt. The belt pressed into my much more healed bruise, undoing all progress I had made in healing. Well last night my body decided that I was starting to feel too much better again. Climbing the ladder up to my bed the ladder collapsed. I skinned my left knee hitting the shelf under my bed, I think my pinky toe got hit too, since that little piggy isn't looking so good right now, and my right ankle gets really sore when I walk too much. WORST OF ALL? I landed exactly on my bruised tailbone. Like x-marks-spot landed. Perfectly. How ridiculous is all of this? I am a WRECK.

I need this week off to heal and cleanse my karma. Obviously I'm paying for something bad I've done, but I'm not quite sure exactly what that is. I'm hoping to have a peaceful week off, even if I am at home and not on some beach.

On a side note: If you've come across me randomly and I seem confused to who you are or even ignore you, I'm not really rude or flaky, I can't see faces that far. I have a hard time with that, so please don't take it personally!!

The IRS Agent and the Rabbi

Just a funny joke that was sent to me this morning:

At the end of the tax year The IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue. While he was checking the books, he turned to the Rabbi and said, "I notice you buy a lot of candles. What do you do with the candle drippings?"

"Good question," noted the Rabbi. "We save them up and send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then they send us a free box of candles."

"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went, in his obnoxious way: "What about all these matzo (bread) purchases? What do you do with the crumbs?"

"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. "We collect them and send back to the manufacturers, and every now and then they send a free box of matzo balls."

"I see," replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all Rabbi. "Well Rabbi," he went on, "What do you do with all the leftover foreskins from the circumcisions you perform?"

"Here, too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save up all the foreskins and send them to the IRS, and about once a year they send us a complete dick.

“Why Being Really Lonely Is Sometimes Super Awesome.”

I can sometimes have a little bit of an obsessive personality, but this is beyond that. This is full blown absolute love-it-so-much-I-wish-I-was-in-their-world obsession. I LOVE SCRUBS. I've been watching it since it first premiered six+ years ago, so in a way it feels like this show has grown up with me. It's made me laugh(and sometimes I laugh so hard I cry) and it's made me cry. It is the perfect balance of comedy and poignancy. As much as I love Grey's I think it's an even better hospital show. Scrubs has made me laugh and cry at the same time.

What's not to love about Scrubs? It has an amazing cast (yes, I've spoken quite a few times about my love for Zach Braff), great writing, and incredible directing (Zach Braff has even directed a few episodes, including my favorite, which I'll go into in a moment). Another part of the show I love is the music. I read an article recently in which Christa Miller (she plays the character of Jordan, and is creator Bill Lawrence's wife) picks most of the music, and a lot of times the cast gives it directly to her rather than Bill Lawrence. I love the fact that the cast is so involved in the show. I think you can tell the difference between the cast of a show that gels perfectly and one that doesn't sail as smooth (ex. Grey's).

Anyways, I thought I'd post some of my favorite musical clips that cement my love for this show even more. And no, I won't post the clip of "How to Save a Life" but I will tell you, Scrubs was the first show to use it last year before anybody else had even heard of the Fray.

One of my favorite episodes of Scrubs is (coincidentally directed by Zach Braff) their 100th episode "My Way Home" in which they do a full tribute to The "Wizard of Oz". I'm actually not a huge Oz fan (childhood nightmares and stuff, actually spurred by the traumatizing sequel "Return to Oz"). One of my greatest delights after the purchase of my mom's new high-def TV was watching the bright colors pop off the screen. This was an episode made for one of those TVs. True to Oz, the episode is bursting with color. That's one of the things I LOVE about Scrubs, they follow through down to the tiniest details, even the color choices.

This first clip is the introduction to the episode, which has two very funny musical moments, the first of which led me to use the phrase "It. Was. Awesome." way too many times, and also sets up the whole Wiz premise of the episode.

This second clip always makes me tear up. I don't know if it's the heartfelt conclusions to each of the character's stories or the amazing rendition of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", but it never fails to get me a little misty eyed. Also, take a look at this amazing shot. First it zooms in on Ted's Band on the roof, and then it pans around the outside of the building, looking into various rooms where the characters are successfully facing their fears. I would love to know if this was filmed with a green-screen, or if they were filmed in the rooms we see. I know that Scrubs is actually filmed in a hospital building, so the building and all of the rooms on the set are real, rather than stages. From the looks of the people in Elliot's room when the camera is panning away I want to say they are really being filmed in those rooms. If so, I think Zach Braff accomplished an amazing shot. I'm curious to hear the film buff's opinions on this one.

This next clip is something put together by somebody on YouTube of their favorite Scrubs musical scenes. I've realized that there are so many incredible musical moments that I could fill up far too many blog entries with clips, so instead I urge you to start watching Scrubs, and discover them for yourselves. Back to this clip, look out for the last music number, which I think is a precursor to the amazing musical episode that just aired.

Another aspect about Scrubs that I adore is the fact that longtime fans get a big payoff from the writers in inside-jokes. Sometimes a joke will span across multiple seasons, and other times it'll be in a few episodes. After Scrubs was put into syndication my brother DVR'd EVERY episode, so I rewatched everything from the start this winter. I didn't realize just how long certain jokes had been going for, even extras (such as Colonel Doctor or Dr. Beardface) have been around since the early days. Two of my favorite on going jokes are the incredible love story of Turk and JD (don't YOU want a love like that?!) and Dr. Acula, JD's screenplay. I don't know about you, but I would definitely pay to see a full length Dr. Acula if it was made with the Scrubs cast. The second clip is one of the earlier introductions to Dr. Acula. Unfortunately I couldn't find all the references, probably because NBC has been patrolling YouTube as of lately.

Guy Love


Remove the . and you've got DRACULA

So for all the Scrubs lovers out there, I'd love to hear about your favorite episodes and moments. Like the time I heard an unreleased song on Scrubs (the first song featured in this clip) and tracked down the author and pretty much stalked his websites and any other sites with his music until the song was released. I actually PAID for a song off of iTunes!

By the way, the subject of this post is taken from a super funny quote in this week's episode. I LOVE quoting Scrubs :)

(sort of unrelated note: while looking for a cast picture I discovered this picture with Sarah Chalke wearing a dress I own!)

bitches ain't shit

I don't know how anybody kept a straight face while making this. I think it's HILarious!

**special thanks to Madison for helping me figure this out!**

No new license but a new dress :-D

My car didn't get fixed. Either my dad didn't order the part early enough or his mechanic didn't put in the order until a day before I came home. Either way, I've still got the cracked windshield. I don't regret going home this weekend though. I did get to eat my favorite pizza, and my best friend happened to be in town for her (really early) spring break. We had dinner at my favorite Japanese restaurant, it was a lot of fun!

I also got to heal from my rather nasty fall down the stairs. Although, if I hadn't been going home I probably wouldn't have fallen. Nah, I travel those stairs all the time AND I'm a klutz, so I would've still fell. And then I'd probably force myself out that night and faint from the pain in the middle of a bar or something. Probably wouldn't go over to well...

I even got a few pictures in while I was at home. As soon as I broke out the camera Gracie came running over to the couch from the dining room. Then she got very shy.

(that's my lap she's cuddled up against)

I never got to drive the new car :/ because immediately after getting to my dad's house last night we left for dinner. It took about an HOUR to be served, so in the meanwhile my dad, his girlfriend, my aunt, uncle, cousin and I all finished off two bottles of wine. I really didn't think it too smart to go for a joyride after that. And this morning I was just too sleepy. Oh well... I guess I'll just have to make up for it over Spring Break when my dad is away and leaves his cars at home for the week ;)

I also managed to buy a Marc Jacobs tunic/dress thingy (oops!) and my mom gave me my (month and a half early) birthday gift, which is a blue Marc Jacobs jacket. It also came with the CUTEST Marc Jacobs tote which I proceeded to spill tomato sauce (from last night's left overs) all over today.

I'm going to be a supermodel...

Yesterday was the first time I've ever seen America's Next Top Model, but I guess it left a lasting impression with me. There was an MTV marathon on of last year's season (maybe?) and when I left to meet my friend for dinner my mom was watching it. When I came home she had reached the final two episodes.

I basically saw about two and a half hours worth of the show. Last night I had a crazy dream that they came to UMass scouting for new contestants for the TV show. Somehow I made it on the show. Let's forget the fact that I'm 5'3" and a half (that half an inch is very important to me) and I probably STILL weigh more than most of the 6' models out there. There were guys on this version of the show, too, and one of them really hated me for being there. But they taught me how to walk pretty, and look skinny when I took pictures, and all this cool stuff that I completely lost when I woke up.

The only really terrifying part came when I looked in the mirror and realized that for my makeover they didn't fix my teeth or anything helpful like that, they dyed my hair back to blonde (I finally broke that long habit last Dec.) and they gave me... GASP... BANGS! Now, I think bangs look awesome on many people, but on me I look like I'm twelve again. I was pretty horrified. I knew I wasn't going to win the show, so why did they have to subject me to bangs again? Those things take forever to grow out. I woke up this morning a little bummed that I'm not on a nationally viewed TV show, not being coached on how to look ah-mazing, but very happy that I am not with bangs. Or dealing with the horror that is Tyra Banks. That alone might classify that dream as a nightmare.

This post is brought to you by oxy-codone

Okay, I wasn't planning on posting until I got back to school, but the irony of this is just too delicious and painful. In our collaborative blog our topic of the week is falling down. This morning I decided that I was not going to be running late, and I was going to pack up my car earlier than I had planned. My back is still kind of stiff from straining it on Monday, so I decided to take one bag at a time down the fastest route, the fire escape right next to my bedroom. This morning EVERYTHING was melting. I could've gone swimming in the potholes in my parking lot. It was just wet all over. So of course the stairs were wet. It's not the first time that I've gone down the stairs on a rainy day. Unfortunately for me, while 30 degrees FEELS warm when it's been 15 for a few weeks, it is still more than cold enough for ice. The puddles of water hid the ice. The ice that I slipped on and flew threw the air and then quite ungracefully landed on my tailbone (yep, my back had JUST started feeling better), and both my elbows. My right elbow is just kind of bruised, but lefty is blue all over and has a nice little build up of fluid around the bone, which just does not look or feel right. I am beyond lucky, though, there's a landing about halfway down that kept me from sliding down the rest of the way down to the hard pavement. As it was, upon my landing I immediately started screaming and sobbing at once, convinced that I had broken something. My roommate heard me and ran out, a few girls in the common room right below the fire escape heard me and came out, and passerby on the street stopped to see if I was okay. My abandoment issues were put to rest at the moment, but I was in too much agony at the time to appreciate that. You know those commercials where they show the parts of the body with pain with a red glow? My whole body was glowing red +11.

Right now I'm laying in bed about to fall asleep thanks to a lovely painkiller, but sadly my bum (yeah I've decided to adopt that fun New England word) is still red, maybe slowly fading to orange. I'm hoping tomorrow I'll wake up and maybe I'll be back at school with Courtney shaking me saying "it's Friday morning! You were having a bad dream, but it's time to go home!"

Eh, one can hope. Let's just hope that this is the last of irony sticking out it's tongue at me, and that I don't end up returning to school in a neck brace. (Since I know you can't see me, I'm knocking on wood right now)

I'm REALLY into leather now. Tell Mom.

I need to write a paper for my Shakespeare class, so OF COURSE I'm writing on here instead. One of the best ways to procrastinate is by checking my email. My crazy Nana sent me an email that consisted of only the subject and a picture. The subject line read: "Your grandparents latest" along with this picture:


Yes, apparently my Nana has joined a biker gang. She's seventy-something and skis, which is quite impressive, but this just takes the cake. Let me give you a little history on my Nana. She's married (husband #4) to a very cranky man whose catch phrase is "Goddammit Iris!" I can just picture them riding on this, their golden retriever Jake (who goes everywhere with them) holding on as well with him shouting "GODDAMMIT IRIS!!!!" Okay, I'm cracking up right now, and my brother is probably asleep, so this is my outlet. Please tell me if you find this humorous in anyway.

The original point of my post (before being distracted by the craziness that is quite scarily my blood relative) was to make a bit of a to-do list for my upcoming weekend. I figure I'll check back in on Monday and see how much of it was accomplished.

At 12:30pm tomorrow I will be departing for NJ. This time one of my sisters is coming with me so I don't have to drive alone and strain my vocal chords once again. She'll be hopping on a train to NYC to see a boyf while I get my windshield replaced. And when it rains it pours, as soon as my car had a passenger another girl I once drove home forever ago has also asked for a ride. This is great because she's being very generous and giving me gas money. So first I'm stopping in NORTH NORTH NORTH Jersey (pretty much borderline NY) and I hope to get back on 287 without getting lost, because last time it took me an hour to figure out my way home (although in all fairness it was dark that time and I was still a more novice driver). The next stop is Randolph, NJ where both my dad and his friendly neighborhood mechanic reside. I'm leaving the Magmobile to have the windshield replaced so the car can pass inspection. The only problem is that Lindsey needs to get to NYC from Millburn, where my mom lives. I will be left carless in Randolph, so I guess that means I'll have to borrow one of my dad's cars.

Let's see.... while I will never complain about borrowing his BMW 5 series, he has apparently had a second midlife crisis and traded in the 1980 Porsche for a 2007 BMW Z4. I'm not sure how else this crisis will work since he can't exactly leave his wife and kids a second time. Oops, do I sound bitter? I digress, let's talk cars more. 5-speed, black exterior, red leather interior, hotness. I think my coolness factor would go up majorly if I was spotted driving that. Of course, I'll need to match the car, so I think a quick shopping trip is in store. I'll need a black leather mini skirt, cool black sunglasses, thigh high black leather boots, and hair extensions so my long flowy hair can wave in the wind. In my crazy procrastinating mood I drew a GLORIOUS picture on paint that I will let you wait til the end to see.

So... besides looking freaking awesome in my butt-kicking spy gear and car (yes I'm assuming I will get my greedy little paws on it), here are my other plans for the weekend...

• Take Lindsey to the train station, make sure to put her on correct train
  
• Reunite with my mom and kitty Gracie
• Complete assigned artwork so I have no homework to do Tuesday night
• Eat my FAVORITE pizza, Randazzo's
• Avoid shopping with my mom, but eventually give in. This means we'll look at expensive things that she'll urge me to buy with my own money. At some point I'll give in and probably buy some Marc Jacobs item that I cannot afford to add to my overstuffed closet.
  
• Do laundry
• Not fight with my brother, Ryne. Maybe bond over that crazy picture of my Nana and how crazy she is.
• Get new driver's license (kind of embarrassing story I'll post at some point)
• Get car reinspected with new windshield as early as possible so I don't wait on line FOREVER
• Steal bottled water and snacks
• Beg for spare change from my dad, will mostly likely receive a twenty
  

Oh, and did I mention the laundry? Can't forget the FREE laundry.

Also, if you know where the quote from the subject line came from I might just love you forever.